it literally stresses me out how much good music there is that i still haven’t listened to
If you sing Ed Sheeran to me I’ll probably fall half way in love with you in 3 seconds flat
"Not a single word."
Dr Rebecca Erikson, my professor, in her introduction of epistemology and challenging the main narrative
So we have an Italian exchange student at our school. And he and I were hanging out and he saw a pony, and he tried to show me but he didn’t know what it was called so he just pointed at it and said “Look, the compressed horse.”
And then he just grinned at his complete understanding of the English language.
"I need to stop eating junk," I say to myself as I put another gummy worm in my mouth.
I can’t decide if this is the best or the worst dad ever
If a man wakes up every day to put on a costume SOLELY to wave his child off to school, he is a dedicated father and truly one of the best out there, even tho this probably embarrassed the shit out of his kid
im going to be this father
if a girl asks you for a tampon, I dont care how much you hate that bitch if you have one you hand it over no one deserves that level of hell